5 Things I Wish I Knew When I Started Parenting a Child with ADHD

When I first started down this path—as a parent, and also as a professional—I thought I could research my way to feeling confident. I read the books. I followed the accounts. I tried the sticker charts and morning checklists.

And still, there were meltdowns.
There were days I cried after drop-off.
There were moments I wondered if maybe I just wasn’t cut out for this.

Looking back now, there are a few things I really wish someone had told me earlier. So, whether you’re new to this journey or just need a reminder, here are five truths I hope will make your load feel a little lighter.

1. It’s not about bad behavior—it’s about unmet needs.

One of the biggest shifts for me was learning to look beyond the behavior and ask: What’s this behavior telling me?

ADHD can show up as defiance, forgetfulness, emotional outbursts, or what looks like “not listening.” But often, those behaviors are a sign that your child is overwhelmed, dysregulated, or struggling with something their brain just can’t do yet.

Once I stopped trying to “fix” the behavior and started getting curious, everything changed.

2. Your calm matters more than your answers.

You don’t need the perfect script.
You don’t need to get it right every time.

You just need to stay present.
Even when your child is losing control, you don’t have to.

That doesn’t mean being calm is easy—it’s not! But learning to regulate myself helped me become the safe place my child needed most. And it made all the difference in how we connected.

3. The ‘rules’ don’t always apply—and that’s okay.

All those parenting books that work for “typical” kids?
They might not work for your child—and that’s not your fault.

What your child needs is you, showing up with compassion and flexibility. Maybe bedtime looks different. Maybe consequences need to be rethought. Maybe connection comes before correction.

Throwing out the one-size-fits-all rulebook gave me space to figure out what actually worked for our family.

4. Small wins are still wins.

Getting dressed without a meltdown.
A smoother school drop-off.
Taking a breath before reacting.

These moments might seem small, but they matter. In a world that pushes perfection, I’ve learned to celebrate progress—and teach my child to do the same.

Because growth is not linear. And sometimes the biggest success is just trying again tomorrow.

5. You don’t have to do it alone.

This one is the most important.

Support isn’t just for “bad days.”
It’s for all days. For the emotional toll, the invisible labor, the second-guessing, and the never-ending mental load.

I used to think asking for help meant I wasn’t coping.
Now I know it means I’m human—and that’s something my child needs to see, too.

In Case You Need to Hear It Today…

You are doing an incredible job, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
You care deeply. You show up. You keep trying. That matters.

Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent.
They need you—calm, supported, and walking this path with care.

And if you’re ready for a little more support? I’m here when you’re ready.

Looking for more gentle guidance?

• Book a free 20-minute call

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We’re in this together. And you’re never alone here.

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